The Clog

2012 21 Days in

2012-01-21T12:37:00.000-08:00

Due to my barrage of posts during the holidays I have a taken a brief hiatus from Clogging.

This photo was neither taken by me, nor was it taken during the year 2012. The reason I have posted it is because I have feeling that its raw strangeness will be duplicated ten fold in the coming months. Here we go.

The 12 Days of Clogmas: Day 12

2011-12-25T19:41:00.000-08:00

On the last day of Christmas,
The Clog gave to me
Twelve skateboard tricks.

That's right children, it totally happened. We have made it to day twelve of Clogmas with minimal pain and suffering. I hope that all of you thoroughly enjoyed your presents, because it sure as shit took every ounce of physical and mental strength to provide you with them. I am sad to say that, much like the little drummer boy, I have no material gifts to deliver anyone. Hopefully mine and Clark's skating will suffice.

On Christmas Eve's eve I dragged Clark out into the freezing cold to experience some unbridled Holiday cheer. We did a few tricks, had some laughs, and pissed off a couple horses. Merry Christmas every last one of ya'll!

the 12 Days of Clogmas: Day 11

2011-12-25T19:23:00.000-08:00

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
The Clog gave to me
Eleven walnuts cracking.

During these long winter nights few things are as comforting as a huge bowl of walnuts, a lobster claw cracker (I think that is the actual use of the tool in the picture), and a hot cup of joe. It is day eleven (I mean not technically), and I could not be happier. Why is that you ask? it is because I already have day twelve ready to go, and after I post it I'll be able to sit back, relax, and overdose on cookies and gingerbread.

The 12 Days of Clogmas: Day 10

2011-12-25T15:41:00.000-08:00

On the tenth day of Christmas,
The Clog gave to me
Ten Niner wins.

No other football teams' colors represent the holiday season better than the 49ers. Red and Gold, come on son! A few weeks back a few friends and I attended the San Francisco St. Louis game, and needless to say, it was a blowout. It also gave the 49ers their tenth win of the season, and my tenth day of Clogmas blog post. How's that for a win win situation!

Raw happiness... and hoppiness.

Grill masta Mike.

Burger and a side salad.

"I am the best Robinette," declared Tyler, right before devouring a chicken wing.

the self proclaimed "Best Robinette," in peak form.

The 12 Days of Clogmas: Day 9 (yes I am well aware that by the time I finish this post it will literally be Christmas)

2011-12-24T23:47:00.000-08:00

On the ninth day of Christmas,
The Clog gave to me
Nine stollen slices.

Have I failed miserably at providing Clog patrons with meaningful and entertaining posts coinciding with the twelve days leading up to Christmas? I don't think so, because by my count there are still twenty four hours and nine minutes left for me to squeeze in three days worth of Clog presents.

It has come to my attention that it has been quite some time since I have dedicated a post to baking. Do not take this as a sign of me slacking off, because there has been plenty of epic baking sessions going down lately. Today I deliver to you nine slices of stollen, which is a German Christmas bread filled with fruit nuts and other lovely flavors. It is dusted with powdered sugar and looks like a snow covered worm. How can one be certain that this loaf was actually cut into nine slices? Well, how can one be certain of anything these days!

the 12 Days of Clogmas: Day 8 (sooooo behind I'm not really sure what the date is)

2011-12-23T00:13:00.000-08:00

On the eighth day of Christmas,
The Clog gave to me
Eight legged critters.

I have never done a Clog book review, and that is for good reason. I seldom read, and therefore have little to no authority when it comes to the topic of literature. I do however, have quite some experience in the art of Christmasing. I know this is neither a word found in any dictionary, nor a word most of you are familiar with, but it basically describes the act of celebrating Christmas.

The Cobweb Christmas is a book that has been with me throughout my childhood, and tells the story os an old German widow who slaves away every Christmas preparing her house for friends and neighbors. I wish too keep most of story secret, but let's just say that spiders are involved.

The 12 Days of Clogmas: Day 7 (still way behind)

2011-12-21T14:11:00.000-08:00

On the seventh day of Christmas,
The Clog gave to me
Seven Scottish photos.

Scotland always reminds me of Christmas time. Perhaps it is the damp rainy weather, dense greenery, or red and green plaid scarves available on every street corner. Then again, maybe I am just desperately trying to come up with anything to post for the twelve days of Clogmas. These photos were taken over the past summer, and believe me, I have been saving them specifically for these twelve days of online holiday gifting. Does anyone actually believe that?

I took a long walk from our hotel to the seaside town below. It was sunny when I left but the clouds soon returned and drenched me from head to toe.

Then the sun came back again. This I would later learn, was a common occurrence in Scotland.

I can most likely attribute my eventual food poisoning to eating things like this. Totally worth every painful bowel movement I suffered.

Scotland got spots. Stefan's line is gnarly.

Castles just sort of randomly pop up out of the ground like mushrooms in Scotland.

Edinburgh University's campus is flat out breathtaking. It also has some nice granite to tear apart.

Some mo' breathtaking shit!

The 12 Days of Clogmas: Day 6 (2 days late, damn it's after midnight. I am still two days behind)

2011-12-20T00:11:00.000-08:00

On the sixth day of Christmas,
The Clog gave to me
Six idiots at Tommy's.

Xmas lights and amazing humans...

all add to the overall brass of the holiday season. A 49er win over the Steelers mixed with a generous portion of celebration ale don't hurt either.

The 12 Days of Clogmas: Day 5 (2 days late)

2011-12-19T17:20:00.000-08:00

On the fifth day of Christmas,
The Clog gave to me
Five Mikes Hard Lemonade's!

Keeping up with the twelve days of Clogmas has proven much harder than I could have ever imaged.

If ever you are at a party and the only thing available to drink is a Mike's Hard Anything, then you pretty much know things are about to go severely downhill. Don't even try and act like you've never been in such a situation.

The 12 Days of Clogmas: Day 4

2011-12-17T08:51:00.000-08:00

On the fourth day of Christmas,
The Clog gave to me...
...
... Four boobs...

Yup, that's right, four boobs. I was racking my brain trying to come up with something clever and entertaining for day, but time was running out and I was nowhere near a computer. After skating I became desperate, and asked both Justin and Wayne for ideas on what to post. "Four boobs," Wayne blurted out. I stared back at him dumbfounded, driving several city blocks with looking at the road whatsoever. "Where are we going to find four boobs Wayne," I asked, trying to humor his strange request. "Google images dude," Justin said. "You know we just like, photoshop ourselves in there." Wow.

So here it is, day four. I can't say it's the worst day of Clogmas, seeing as how there are many days to go, but it certainly falls short in the categories of relevancy and originality. This post happens to also be a day late, but given the content does it seriously matter one bit? No, I didn't think so either!

The 12 Days of Clogmas: Day 3

2011-12-15T22:42:00.000-08:00

On the third day of Christmas,
The Clog gave to me
Three ripping rippers.

Christmas could greatly be improved by eliminating the need to buy others gifts. Take a look at Thanksgiving for example. You've got food, friends, family, football, pie, food, drinking, food, beer, wine, food, without the hassle of shopping. Most of us have enough material bull crap cluttering up our lives as it is. That is why I feel it is perfectly acceptable to regift something that was previously given to you.

Just about all of the tricks featured in this montage have already been used for one project or another over the course of several years. But just like that blender you received for your birthday last year, I am rewrapping these clips with sparkling paper, tying a nice bow around them, and giving them back to you this holiday season.

P.s. In case any humans were wondering, Jon's line with the 180 over the rail is my favorite line ever.

The 12 Days of Clogmas: Day 2 (sort of)

2011-12-14T20:43:00.000-08:00

On the second day of Christmas,
The Clog gave to me
Two video posts in one day!

We shall journey even further back to a time when I still had a GL 2 and my virginity. As the title indicates, I created this pointless little video for Jesse on a whim. It contains virtually no entertaining moments, so I shall clarify a few things in the next paragraph.

Kevin Calderwood made this video for me...i dont know y

Bone | Myspace Video

At the time I thought I was being very clever by combining found writing on a playground slide with final cut titles to spell out something comical. In retrospect it was just childish. The grey shirt conflict, as it later became known as, makes me chuckle to this very day. My reaction to Jesse wearing my only grey t-shirt is one of complete betrayal and disgust. It makes me wonder why I do not posses such a shirt now. For those one you looking to buy me a Christmas gift, I will gladly accept medium blank grey t-shirts by either Hanes or Fruit of the Loom. Come on, I know you're already wondering through Macy's as you read this, so why not pick up a four pack of shirts? Chances are they'll be way cheaper than whatever the hell you're going to buy for who
gives a shit.

The particular crew in attendance during the grey shirt conflict is also something to marvel at. It consisted of a very young Wayne Mills, Jesse Rose, Andy Aced, and if you look closely, a Ryan Eicholtz. What brought us all together that day will always be a mystery to me, but what remains important is the almighty grey shirt of destiny.

The 12 Days of Clogmas

2011-12-14T13:57:00.000-08:00

On the first day of Christmas,
The Clog gave to me
A teaser for a video that never came to be.

In honor of the season, I am dedicating the next twelve days to showering Clog patrons with an assortment of enticing gifts and goodies. I am aware that I am starting a day late, but rest assured I came up with this idea yesterday. I am just going to have to post twice today to make up the difference.

Journey back to a time when Carson and I had just begun skating with each other and no one rode for any sort of sponsor. Everyone was young innocent and bursting at the seems with motivation. Jason Strubing was in the early stages of orchestrating another Skateworks video but needed someone to film and edit it, seeing as how Kyle had hit the big time. Naturally Carson and I jumped at the opportunity. However, nothing ever fully materialized and most of our and editing skills footage went to Kyle's mutant side project, Turd Life. This trailer is the only evidence of the long lost Skateworks video.

Wine and Cocoa Puffs

2011-12-07T17:50:00.001-08:00

It is my firm belief that the morning is most crucial point of the day. If I awake in a state of absolute stokeditude I could care less about what the rest of the day brings. Greeting the day with a feeling of purpose and motivation is infinitely unfuckwitable.

If the morning has such great potential for greatness, then there must be equal chance for horrible failure. I usually view the posting of youtube videos as a sign of blog laziness, but when the blues strike early in the morn, nothing quite fits like this video. The Cold Water says it all. Apparently cereal wine and guitar can cure the cold water blues.

Here is a photograph of two individuals existing on opposite ends of the morning mood spectrum. Which one woke up with the cold water?

The Best/Worst Shit Ever Vol. 3

2011-11-16T18:09:00.000-08:00

If you are planning on trimming your nose hairs...

you may as well do it while driving through a busy intersection. And by golly, why not smoke a cigarette in the process.

The Best Shit Ever vol. 2

2011-11-09T22:27:00.001-08:00

Like a car crash I can see,

but just can't avoid.

Game Six

2011-10-31T14:01:00.000-07:00

Post smogcheck celebratory ceramic day of the dead skulls filled with tequila are normal right?

Chase had been waiting for this day since he was born. Before we even turned on the tv The Rangers scored a run, which meant a shot for Newt Dawg.

Shot number two came faster than you can say "faggot fuck," which at some point became Chase's go to phrase.

Chase using his yell at the screen coaching technique to get "his boys" fired up. It's a miracle Josh's tv and dvd player survived the ordeal.

Much to Chase's delight, and his liver's displeasure, Texas seemed to be on quite the hitting streak. Shot number three may have come a little early.

As the sun gently tiptoed away Chase had a smoke on the balcony. This may have been the last time our young friend looked sane during the night.

Because right afterward it was back to taking shots.

A full hand worth of tequila shots.

I may in fact get the picture framed and mounted over my fireplace.

Chase enlisted the help of other people's fingers to help him count shots.

Things started looking pretty bleak for the Cardinals.

The wellbeing of Chase didn't seem to promising either.

But what is this? A miracle home run.

Pure Anguish.

Into the mouth of madness.

Ah but wait, shot number nine and a smiling Chase means that things began to turn around for the Rangers. And yes, I must have missed a few pictures of shot tequila drinking along the way.

However, a focused phone is never a good sign. Or is it a great sign?

Either way, there is always next year.

Ps. Chase I have a your favorite sweatshirt.

Guilty Fall Pleasures Vol. 1

2011-10-26T23:10:00.000-07:00

Nothing quite reminds me of fall like ingesting a steaming cup full of artificially pumpkin flavored coffee sludge.

The Pumpkin Spice Latte from 7-11 is anything but a latte, but it's curiously addicting and brings me back to my coffee drinking roots. A time when the last thing I wanted to taste in my coffee was, well, coffee.

The Pumpkin Spice Latte also tastes especially good out of a 99 cent 12 oz Domo coffee cup. This deal however, was only available for a limited time a couple years back, and I feel as though me and my buddy Justin Albert were the only ones who took advantage of this.

Hell on the Horizon

2011-10-24T19:29:00.000-07:00

Not quite my pretties, but we are getting close. Listen to the wind and sharpen your razor mittens.

Objects of October

2011-10-20T00:43:00.001-07:00

Could it be, the almighty "Root?"

Unless you eat a shit ton of candy corn pumpkins the season is not yet complete.

Deck the halls with hell and folly!

This man should have graced the blogger account of the Clog ages ago. Behold artgrove69.

Friends.

Enemies.

Best friends!

"It's an Evil Fucking Room"

2011-10-12T23:54:00.001-07:00

How did John Cusack make the transition from wimpy roles in films like High Fidelity, to becoming the new reigning king of psychological horror? Ah, the wonders never cease.

If Samuel L. Jackson warns you not to stay somewhere, well then dear God, you had better take his advice. The fact that John Cusack looks Sammy J. right in the eyes and tells him, "I'm taking the room," speaks volumes about how much of a straight up G he really is. 1408 was greeted with very little love upon it's release, but don't be fooled, this psychological brain rape of a film boasts some serious solo acting, awesome lighting, and genuinely suspense filled moments.

"Hotel's are a naturally creepy place, How many people slept in that bed?"

It has been white some time since I last viewed this masterpiece of horror cinema, but I know for a fact that it is worth staring glassy eyed into into your television screen for. And now that I think about it, both of these films take place in a hotel/motel (what the hell is the difference???). Is Cusack really the king of horror, or simply the master of hotel thriller? You be the judge.

When Life Gives you Gourds

2011-10-08T11:20:00.000-07:00

As I slip deeper and deeper into the Fall season these little buggers seem to start pooping up in my front yard and kitchen. Lord knows where they come from or how they arrive in my home.

All I know is that when a pumpkin crosses my path, I cut it down the center, scoop out its flesh, slice it into tiny segments, skin it, submerge it in boiling water until its nicely tender, and then well... eventually create a delicious soup. Let the gourd times roll!

1

2011-10-05T01:03:00.000-07:00

Number 1 needs no pictures,
and most certainly no reason.
But it moves with much swiftness,
and the change of the season.

The Clog's 201 post has little to offer, except promises of far more entertaining Clog posts in the comng fall. This is the first and it sucks. What fallows shall be better. For now, listen to the rain, once again.

The 200th Clog Post Mega Post Photo Blowout Extravaganza Post

2011-10-01T11:37:00.000-07:00

Closing in on your 200th blog post is sort of like living with your parents well into your 20's; You come to the realization that you've been doing that shit far to long, but chances are you won't stop. Thank you to those who follow the Clog (Ben Fowler) and those of you who support me in life (my box). Cheers to 200 posts of pointless excrement, and many more to follow.

Whenever I am blessed with two days off from work in a row I usually feel compelled to take some sort of miniature vacation. The destination usually is well suited for skating and friends are sure to populate said region, except this time. Which is precisely why I brought Jesse along with me on a whirlwind journey to a number of undetermined locations along California's Northern coastline.

There is no better time to head out onto the dark lonely road.

Why travel to Willits California? Sometimes logic doesn't play an integral role in the decisions we make.

We met a local, who had to call the police, and ask them to unlock the gate to this skatepark, which turned out to have an amazing flow and some incredibly dreamy hubba ledges.

People sure do like to smoke themselves some drugs up in this neck of the woods, so its only natural for them to have tie dye clothing shops.

Sometimes you must ingest strange substances to help you hang tough.

As we neared Fort Bragg the weather went from ball blisteringly hot to ass chillingly cold. There was some fog and a bridge too.

Jesse and I set up camp in what appeared to be someones backyard.

The moisture level reached epic proportions

The baseball bbq was taken on its maiden voyage. Jesse insisted we cook beans, and then proceeded to pollute the inside of our tent with gases from the inside of his bowels.

There are fews things quite as comforting as a plate full of succulent wieners.

Screw dogs, fire is man's true best friend.

We could not have foreseen Fort Bragg having a skatepark... a really fun skatepark.

This little seaside town is also home to North Coast Brewing. We came, we saw, we sampled.

It was a relatively casual brewery. No paper bags.

The road home involved massive redwoods and Tunes provided by BobFM.

Beauty

and splendor. But not Splenda, that shit is wack.

If you find an empty bottle of wine in the woods and take a picture of it will it make this caption any less terrible.

Wine country children.

Done son.

Beyond The Brass

2011-09-24T00:31:00.000-07:00

I shall quote the previously quoted, and that shall lead you to the truth.

"trust the tale not the teller...
that which fascinates us is by definition true."

Focusing on the big picture will smother all the humanity that is left in man.

Murky Memories of Misfortune Vol. 2

2011-09-21T13:42:00.000-07:00

The Clog now journeys to a time long since past, filled with peculiar people, foreign lands, and flammable cocktails, to bring you another embarrassing installment of Murky Memories of Misfortune. Let us all travel back in time to Oct. 31, 2008.

The calm before the absinthe storm. Who knew sugar cubes could turn green.

If scientists say that Jesus was most likely black, does that mean Satan is too. My guess is that he's actually Asian, sorry Arthur.

The true star of this Clog post was a young man whose name I cannot remember, but who played music I will never forget. On This Halloween night, oh so many moons ago, a young lad came upon party without a costume on his back. He knew no one attending this gathering but brought with him a trumpet, and a thirst for booze. He played his horn with great skill and sipped beer between notes. He was the life of the party until he eventually passed out, for one reason or another. This was the only photographic proof of his existence.

The Best Shit Ever Vol. 1

2011-09-17T21:35:00.000-07:00

We here at the Clog now will lump life into two categories, because lord knows, things are complicated enough as they are. The two previously mentioned categories go by the names of, "the best shit ever," and "the worst shit ever." Keeping with the theme of optimism, The Clog presents to you The X Files. Easily one of the best shows ever, The X Files shed light on many an important subject, including baseball.

There would normally be a youtube clip accompanying this message, but for now there is only a picture and the words, " now unless you're hiding some Chinese food let's call it a day.

Chase Guest Post Vol. 2

2011-09-08T23:47:00.000-07:00

I will once again start by saying that Chase had nothing to with this post, except providing the featured photograph. So in a way I suppose he is the grand orchestrator of this Clog series. What's the deal Chase? You trying to take over The Clog? The Clog and everything it stands for can be yours for the small price of... a lifetime supply of Specialties peanut butter and white chocolate macadamia nut cookies.

I these troubled times a little nostalgia is necessary.

Once again, thank you Chase.

Murky Memories of Misfortune

2011-09-07T23:34:00.000-07:00

This Clog installment goes to Ty's dear old roommate Sam. Never without a smile and always in favor of having a few friends over for a party, Samwise may have become a little too excited on this night of nights.

Doing good, doing good.

Eh, well maybe not that good.

David had some misfortune of his own, but it wasn't nearly as funny.

Da Bay

2011-08-29T23:06:00.000-07:00

Just a friendly Clog Reminder...

they have jelly fish in Scotland. These squishy creatures have four purple markings on the top of their bodies and enjoy gazing upon oddly shaped suspension bridges. I have created this post because I know that deep down, everyone is curious about the marine life in other parts of the world.

more concerning Scotland in the near future.

Visions from the Road Vol. ?

2011-08-23T16:57:00.000-07:00

I cannot recall a time driving along highway five without my senses being assaulted by scorchingly beautiful sunsets and staggering views. Coming back from Oregon a few weeks ago was no different.

If one comes across a farm on the side of the road, one must stop there and purchase fruit and other farm goods.

The skatepark in Weed feels like it was designed by some baked ass dude whose never skated, but the view is incredible.

At the intersection of heaven and hell. Of course there is a liquor store there.

Street lights flicker as the end nears.

Nothing but the road and the infinite unknown.

Sigh.

Steady Sleeping

2011-08-17T14:36:00.000-07:00

I always take comfort in the fact that, whether I am at school, working for "the man," or out skating, my two freeloading pets are sound asleep.

Name: Quynh
Sex: NA, seeing as how his balls were extracted long ago.
Occupation: Nap scientist. Quynh seldom sleeps for more than 3 hours at a time, periodically taking breaks to refuel and change napping location.
Hobbies: Quynh enjoys recreational napping, dozing off, daydreaming, resting, eating, tearing away at carpet, tearing away at human flesh, and tormenting birds.

Name: Mookie
Sex: Male, seeing as how his genitals are still intact. However, the last time he experienced the scaly touch of a female was over a decade ago.
Occupation: Professional Sleeper, with an emphasis in sleeping as an alternative to living. Mookie appears to be sleeping even when he is awake and often will come across as dead when he is sleeping.
Hobbies: In his spare time Mookie can be found licking his eyeballs for moisture, laying across 100 degree rocks, and gorging himself on live crickets.

Rick McCrank's Biggest Fan

2011-07-27T12:39:00.000-07:00

Whenever my father graces the Clog with his magnificent presence it is reminiscent of a Loch Ness Monster sighting. It seems as though the name Tom Calderwood has reached a sort of legendary cult status among friends of The Clog. The mere mention of my old man's name conjures up images of gardening, laughter, and surfing. All of this folklore is well and good, but it never truly compares to spending an afternoon (or life time) in his glowing presence.

Upon returning home from work I found to my surprise that my father had baked a apple plum crisp. While Tom's cooking lives on in infamy, it should also be noted that he is a damn fine baker. Am I at all threatened by this new culinary interest? No... not at the moment.

My fathers line of work is something of a mystery, and watching him conduct it in a lounge chair while simultaneously petting Quynh doesn't exactly shed any light on the matter.

Chase Guest Post Vol. 1

2011-07-12T21:39:00.000-07:00

Technically Chase didn't post the picture below. And Chase certainly has no idea I am starting a series of Clog posts showcasing pictures left on his old iphone, that he gave to me out of the goodness of his heart. However, I am sure that if Chase was to contribute photos to the Clog they would most likely include ones such as this.

Do you ever wonder what it would be like to combine two of the coolest people you know into one awesomely cool mutant friend? If so, then you my friend have some serious issues. Nevertheless, I present to you GoldieBong.

Holland Holiday

2011-07-10T23:40:00.000-07:00

Several weeks ago I tore myself away from the blissful confines of Los Gatos and journeyed with my father to Holland and Scotland. Fun times were had, tasty beer was tasted, and foreign ledges received their fair share of crooked grinds. In the midst of all this excitement I even managed to take a few digital pictures, most of which feature stuff and things, so enjoy if you feel so inclined.

Peddling poppa

Amsterdam has canals...

and good sandwiches...

even a couple things to shred.

I tried to session this ramp located deep within a lush mystical glen, but I got the boot by an irate gang of elves. More photos to shall follow depending on my motivation to post them.

Summer Film Review

2011-06-20T11:46:00.000-07:00

The Clog has been dormant for several weeks due to things like overseas traveling and an internet connection that works 27 % of the time (maybe). Fear not though, because Quynh's teeth are still razor sharp and these posts are about to become more frequent than ever. Let us review a film as a way of easing back into the world of cybernetic jibba jabba.

One of the many films I viewed against the back of an airplane seat while flying to Holland, Deliverance does just as its name suggest, it delivers. A soundtrack composed of banjo twanging, breathtaking scenery, and backwoods hillbilly romance make for a joyous cinematic experience.

A Fuzzy Little Reminder

2011-05-20T22:01:00.000-07:00

This post is meant to educate anyone who consumes coffee for the sole purpose of functioning properly during the troublesome morning hours. Treat yourself to a cookie and latte during any point of the day to fully understand true coffee bliss. Nibble and sip your way towards espresso enlightenment.

Improper Box Usage

2011-05-08T21:12:00.000-07:00

While I have all the respect in the world for those hard working individuals remodeling my kitchen, I must point out one inexcusable act of box desecration being committed. Session's over bro!

Powered by Pastry

2011-04-24T22:15:00.000-07:00

Skaters tend to posses incredible perseverance and drive when it comes to landing tricks. We will spend countless hours and endure both physical and mental torment in order to accomplish our meager goals. The pure satisfaction of rolling away is the only motivation we require... either that or bribes of cold beer, money or food offered by friends. While the previously mentioned rewards still remain the most popular, and why shouldn't they be, occasionally a little something extra is called for.

The ante has been upped.

Images from the CalderHood

2011-04-15T10:33:00.000-07:00

Many moons have scuttled by since last I posted a Clog. Here is gentle remember (about as gentle as mountain goat on steroids) that the hood I reside in aint nuttin nice.

Just my good ol' anti-conservative neighbors. We aint in the South no more...

but we do still pile up all our trash out front and drink beers amidst the rubble. Is that what they do in the South?

Pie's Savory Soulmate

2011-03-16T22:05:00.001-07:00

I suggest you eat a little bit of quiche

before the insanity begins. The specimen shown above consists of feta cheese, olives, onions, and artichoke hearts. Just about anything can be coated in a custard and poured into a pie shell, so I am thinking that corned beef leftovers may just be my next pastry experiment.

2011-03-16T22:05:00.000-07:00

Winter's Wrath

2011-02-27T21:00:00.000-08:00

Week after week of cloudless skies and friendly temperatures have given way to torrential downpours and stingingly cold winds. I must admit I have little problem with this sudden resurgence of winter. A few comrades and I were fortunate enough to make it up to the hills above Saratoga and trudge around through the frost encrusted wilderness.

Moments after angering a park ranger we "headed out" into the forrest.

Little limbs coated in white.

There is magic in these woods.

Darby performs the walk of shame as he awaits his mother baring a spare set of car keys.

The Coke Lab Vol. 1

2011-02-22T22:37:00.001-08:00

The Coke Lab began not as an organization, but as a set of ideals. These ideals are best understood through the group's slogan, "Doing Blow in Da Kitchen, See What ya'll been missin." Whether or not The Coke Lab actually involves cocaine (it most certainly does not), or if there will even be a Vol. 2 (there most likely will not be) is irrelevant. What is important is however, is that Vol. of The Coke Lab adheres to the group's guiding principles. These can best be understood through the group's slogan, "Doing Blow in Da Kitchen, See What ya'll been missin."

If you are thoroughly confused after viewing The Coke LAb Vol. 1 then the group's objectives have been met. These are best understood through the group's slogan, "Doing Blow in Da Kitchen, See What ya'll been missin."

A Post Concerned with the Art of Postin'

2011-02-15T12:24:00.000-08:00

I have always been intrigued by the various forms of "chilling", "hanging out", "kicking it", and of course" posting up." What do these bizarre activities really mean? How are they different from one another? And most importantly, do they really deserve to be counted as real stand alone activities? I have created a video to better understand one of these popular pass times.

The Things a Nugget Thinks

2011-02-09T22:01:00.000-08:00

My good friend Jon Nguyen has always struck me as a very contemplative type of guy. He can go long periods of time without uttering a single word, and I feel that this is because there are a million thoughts and ideas bouncing around within the confines of his mind.

Nugget ponders the benefits of inside out clothing while sitting on a patch of damp grass.

Nugget gazes through prison bars and wonders whether or not I will capture his nose picking with my digital photo device.

Nugget marvels at the talent of Watsonville's most underrated skater, and ruins my shot composition in the process.

The Burning Orb and The Leafless Trees

2011-01-25T20:12:00.000-08:00

It has been very warm lately, a little too warm. Is it not January? Where is the sleet and snow typically associated with the winter months of San Jose? Ok, so I guess we never actually get any real snow in the bay area, or sleet for that matter, but I could sure use a few stormy days so I can partake in one of my favorite activities.

A cup of warm coffee, scones fresh from the oven, and a thin layer of glass separating me and the howling wind.

2011-01-19T21:15:00.000-08:00

While Peter's days riding for Powell consisted mostly of death defying trick requests and trips to the costume store, they also brought with them an opportunity for me to fulfill my deep desire of filming and editing a trick tip video. One of young Raffin's responsibilities as a Powell Am was to star in a number of these instructional web videos.

Peter was hardly enthusiastic about the idea, but I have always held a squishy spot in my heart for the cheesy verbal instructions uttered by skaters as they try and describe the inner workings of kickflips and nollie crooked grinds. As a youth I dreamed of one day being able to coach fellow rippers by way of the trick tip video. So when Peter informed me that he hated explaining how tricks were done, I leaped at the opportunity to do a little voice over work.

His loss was my gain!

The Clog, a Nutrition Blog?

2011-01-11T15:19:00.000-08:00

While barreling down the freeway from Davis to San Jose at midnight, and with a tired Frenchman snuggly nestled amongst the sweatshirts and brick-a-brack often found throughout my whip, mine and Jesse's conversation flowed through many topic but finally rested itself on that of human dietary requirements. As is customary during such delirious hours of the night, our ideas were based more on lofty gastronomic principles than concrete scientific fact. Either way, Jesse proposed a very simple and tasty diet.

Jesse and I present to you, The Cow Diet. The guidelines associated with this diet are quite strict but the results speak for themselves.

situated at the top of The Cow Diet food pyramid is beef. The reason for this Jesse summed up eloquently in a few simple words, "Beef, come I mean, it's what's for dinner." How true a statement this is.

Ah cheese, beautiful creamy cheese. Cheese fills in the gaps of The Cow Diet that beef leaves empty (even though it is hard to imagine anything beef cannot do). Cheese can be eaten plain by the slice or spread across the beef. If the cow diet has yet to entice you, then you probably need to seriously reevaluate your existence.

With all of this glorious food being consumed you begin to wonder, what about something crisp and refreshing to wash it all down? This is where milk comes into play. Nothing sounds better after scarfing down a huge chunk of beef slathered in cheese than a tall glass of cow juice.

So loyal Cloggers, if your are interested in getting into shape or obliterating the bovine population, please give The Cow Diet serious consideration.

Oh Thank Heaven it's 2011

2010-12-31T11:49:00.000-08:00

why should we be thankful that 2010 is almost dead and gone? Because it was a hellish year filled with misery and despair. However, it was by no means a boring year, what with all injuries, broken hearts, broken dreams, and facebook status alterations. So let us all try to forgive, forget, rejoice, and make a toast to existence, because life is certainly long enough to squeeze in ample doses of insanity.

In the spirit of squeezing things into places... I am filling the Clog with any left over images captured with my half broken screenless digital camera before 2010 is officially over. Because as we all know, once 2011 crashes down upon us none of them will be relevant anymore.
During the final weeks of 2010 Jesse actually ate a donut without me having to force him. Congratulations Boner, your rolling with the hard hitting fools.

"Pull over right here dude, I need to take a picture of this sweet sunset." 2010 was home to many a glorious sunrise and sunset, but barely anyone except myself witnesses the earlier.

In 2010 Tyler's garage was adorned with chronic Christmas crystals, while his eyes were adorned with his eyelids.

Supersmash Bro. was very important during 2010, and I hope the trend carries over into the coming year(s). Clark appears stoked.

Once upon a rainy day, we had ourselves a nice little underground sesh.

Peace out twenty ten.

The Glog Clog

2010-12-18T15:15:00.000-08:00

My attempt to post a wholesome heap of Clog each day of December has failed miserably, and I no longer have the luxury of blaming school or society (even though I still feel like society is at fault for most other things that go horribly wrong in this world, screw society!). Instead of worry about fulfilling some primal urge to Clog daily, I have decided to just let the Clog flow freely without any self induced pressure. Yesterday was coated in mist and darkness, but the comradery broke through the clouds like a lightning bolt from Zeus.

There are days when the fog settles in the hills of Los Gatos and it feels like there is no more comfortable place on earth.

Warmth and wonder.

The stairway to heaven... on the balcony of Los Gatos Bar and Grill.

Riders on the storm.

With the right combination of spices, booze, and nuts (all of which I adore) one can create Glog.

This potent little drink will warm your body and spirit. Perfect for the holiday, and with a name like Glog, it is even more perfect for The Clog. This marks the first time there has ever been a blog called Clog that features a drink called Glog. Dr. Seuss would be proud of my alliteration.

Mike decided to bop his hispanic head though the curtain of mist and say hello to everyone in San Jose. He was only here long enough to look cute (I'd do him in a heart beat), play some beer pong, and get some bbq chicken shoved down his throat but it brightened everyone's day.

Clog follower since day one... the illustrious Ben Fowler.

My Battery has Sprung a Leek so I will Make This Short

2010-12-14T22:34:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas," said the seagull...

and then he shat on you ski mask.

P.s. I understand that I spelled "leak" like "Leek," but I like like leeks, so there!

Now drink your Nog my friends!

Tis the Season

2010-12-13T22:41:00.000-08:00

To believe in the green fairy!

Drink your absinthe, it does a body strange.

Lost but not Forgotten

2010-12-12T21:57:00.000-08:00

Due to numerous seasonal activities (skating Deanza, Drinking at German bars, and dressing up in kilts) I neglected to post anything for Friday the 10th and Saturday the 11th. And due to numerous papers I have to write, I will be posting something quite boring and drab tonight.

High heels and corsets both look torturously uncomfortable, but at least the later makes for some tasty eye candy.

All the single ladies.

8th Day of December Movie Review

2010-12-08T22:01:00.000-08:00

I watched The Ice Harvest several years prior to becoming a strip club aficionado, so its charm was somewhat lost on me. Just kidding, I'm too broke to hang out in strip clubs, but no where near too broke to order movies on OnDemand. Take that last phrase however you will, and do ourselves a favor and watch this movie. All star cast and plenty and of holiday b(ch)eer.

Sentimental and Mental

2010-12-07T22:12:00.000-08:00

The open windows on my Simpsons advent calendar grow more and more as my chocolate high grows stronger and stronger. I love being greeted by Bart and Homer each morning at 5:00 AM.

Nothing says December and the arrival of Christmas like an advent calendar laced with chocolate goodies. This particular calendar covers each day up to New Years because as we all know, Homer is a fat ass.

My mother always sets up a Christmas village in our kitchen window. As a young child I always envisioned living in an upside down row boat transformed into a house. This still remains one of my life long dreams.

From inside this boat turned house the view of every sunset would always look like this.

Dec. 6th in Clogville

2010-12-06T22:04:00.000-08:00

There are nineteen days left until the earth cracks open and a slew of demons burst forth and desecrate the innocent and... oops that was meant for a post during October. What I would really like to share with all of you (meaning Ben Fowler, (if in fact he still reads The Clog) Mikey, and Lane) is the beloved Christmas story of one of my favorite people of all time.

Clogging Through the Holidays

2010-12-05T22:13:00.000-08:00

There are twenty days until Christmas, it is the fifth day of Chanukah, and the wind outside is howling at me like a pack menopauseal banshees.

Halloween was soooooo last month, but I will reap the benefits.

Paint the earth yellow with tree shavings.

Behold the loaf of Challah, a Jewish celebration bread consumed on Shabbat and other holidays. I traded this doughy morsel to my Jewish neighbor Larry for some of his homemade latkes. While shooting the shit with him and his family I noticed an empty Coronitas bottle... which should totally stoke out Jesse... but no one else.
More Holiday Clogging to come.

The Harvest is Upon us

2010-11-10T21:10:00.000-08:00

The ground is polluted with the dead leaves that once flourished in spring. They lay amongst the snaking vines of the pumpkin ale plant, and the fields are ripe with a cornucopia of malts and hops. You had all better harvest your crops, lest they decompose in the very soil that birthed them.

Subpar Pumpkin

2010-10-29T21:30:00.000-07:00

Today I saddled up my bamboo bike and set out for some more frozen pumpkin yum yums. This time I decided to get my fix at one of my childhood haunts, Thrifty Drug Store, or to be more accurate, "The Drug Store Formally Known as Thrifty (aka DSFKT). The name has been changed to Right Aid, but the ice cream remains Thrifty Brand, so don't trip. I have fond memories of coming here while staying at my grandmas house. I can vividly recall the shape of the scooper, the water rinsing faucet it rested in, and the perfect cylindrical form of the scoops, and most of all, the divine taste.

If you were to ask the nine year old Kevin Calderwood how he felt about pumpkin ice cream, he would most likely make an obscene face and mention something about poop. Needless to say my palate has grown considerably, and these days I hardly settle for plain old vanilla (unless of course it is from Dolce Spazio, but that will have to wait until a later post). Unfortunately Thrifty Pumpkin Ice Cream is somewhat bland. I found very little spice in this blend, and a severe lack of richness and depth. There was a nice pumpkin, but after a few bites it became tiresome. Nevertheless, Thrifty Ice Cream brought me back to a simpler and more innocent time in my life. Sometimes, that's all a man needs.

For the Love of the Gourd

2010-10-24T22:33:00.005-07:00

Butternut is fine, acorn is just dandy, and I can even get down with a little kabocha, but nothing makes my heart grow wings and soar to the nearest farmer's market like the thought of fresh pumpkin. Nothing brings man closer to nature than a pleasant romp through the local pumpkin patch. And with only a week until Halloween, I would say your chances for gourd glory are growing slim.

I typically prefer my pumpkin flesh roasted and slathered in a little butter or olive oil, but if you have three stomachs and a huge set of horns, I guess it really doesn't make any difference. One man's carving is another cow's scarfing.

Oktober-festering Pile of Bird Flesh

2010-10-21T20:40:00.000-07:00

Oktoberfest has come and gone, but memories of melons and meat logs are still fresh in my Spatten splattered mind. While the beer at Campbell's famed Germanic drunkstraviganza is delightful, the real draw for me comes in the phallic form of smoked sausage and sour kraut.

However, this year my mother trumped anything at Oktoberfest with this dish of ham, sausage, kraut, and potatoes.

Quynh would rather hunt for his meals... free range... in the backyard... and drag them into the house... without actually eating... or even completely killing them. Happy Hellweiner Week.

This One's a Doozy

2010-10-17T22:46:00.000-07:00

A little rain, a cozy fire, a cat clawing at your face, and of course...
some absolutely terrifying cinematic brain poison. Funny Games does not contain monsters, zombies, hockey mask wearing lunatics, chainsaws, vital organs spilling out of lacerated high school football player's abdomens, or glowing teenage vampires. In fact, Funny Games does not even show a single death on screen. This little gem relays on realistic characters, acting, and camera work to demonstrate just how soulless human beings can be.

To fully experience the perverse inhuman madness of Funny Games be sure to forgo the U.S. remake and watch the original German version. It literally had me screaming obscenities at my television as I watched in horror wishing I could jump in and save the hapless victims. Your probably going to need a good church session after watching this one.

2010-10-10T23:08:00.000-07:00

My word, is it October already? Are the days already starting to shrink like a pair of testicles submerged in a frigid lake? Are Gourds begginning to spill out over the stacks of hay piled in front of grocery store parking lots? Yes, yes I do belive so, and I also believe that the world’s tastiest ice cream flavor has recently become available.

Pumpkin ice cream is a fletting dessert that seems to fade away before you can truly get your fill. I am always left wishing I had just one more spoonful of that spicy, creamy, pumpkinny goodness.
Well not this year, because I am dedicating October to sampling as many types of pumpkin ice cream as I possibly can. And first on the list is from Treat Ice Cream. This local Creamery produces some of the smoothest old fashioned ice cream in the greater San Jose area, and their pumpkin blend is no exception. I find it especially enjoyable and unique because the raw flavor of fresh pumpkin really stands out. Treat’s pumpkin ice cream doesn’t bombard the palate with sweetness and spice, but rather uses a subtle blend of cloves, cinnamon, ginger, and allspice to enhance the rustic taste of pumpkin. All of Treat’s ice cream is velvetty smooth too, which is an added bonus. It’s going to be hard to top this one.

That Nigga Jess Jones Pt. 1

2010-08-23T20:58:00.000-07:00

I sign onto facebook more and more these days. Am I slipping into the void of nothingness and self glorifying bullshitism? Or am I simply looking for a way of digitally chatting with people whom no longer frequent myspace or ichat? The answer is more shrouded in mystery than my sexual orientation, but one thing is for certain, my online facebook alias will forever be Jess Jones.
I created Jess Jones several years ago as a joke and I cannot for the life of me remember why I picked the name this particular name. What I can remember is that when I typed Jess Jones into google images I instantly found the picture of this man.

After all these years I feel obligated to dedicate some Clog time to the man who has selflessly supported my facebook vagrancy over the past few years.

Jesse G. Jones was born on February 26, 1842 in Alabama, and died on April 11, 1917 in Texas (yes, I am sad to say Jess Jones is in fact dead as a god damn door nail). In 1856 Jesse was orphaned by the age of fourteen in Mississippi. He was adopted and educated by a businessman who saw potential in him even as a teenager. Jesse's sisters were raised in Alabama where they had previously lived.

More about Jess Jones to come.

From the Pages of Walden, Post 1.

2010-08-03T14:32:00.000-07:00

"Our life is frittered away by detail. An honest man has hardly need to count more than his ten fingers, or in extreme cases he may add his ten toes, and lump the rest." - Henry David Thoreau

I translate this to literally mean, fuck math. Math and numbers have no place in this world. They simply bog down the mind waste precious sheets of binder paper, that could be put to far better use as canvas for sonnets and materials paper footballs. People say that money is the root of all evil, when in fact it is is numbers that account for life's most stressful endeavors.

My math skills have taken me about this far

Long Time no Quynh

2010-07-29T13:40:00.000-07:00

I had been a number of months since I last updated The Clog. I could on for hours blaming my friends, family, and erectile disfunction, but the fact of the real culprit is Lane Kerans. He failed to pay for the website name and I was unable to log into Calderclog.com. I now must resort to using the original site, and it brings me great sorrow. How ever will I continue on in life knowing that my beloved Clog has the words "blogspot" attached to it. I guess I will do the only thing I can do...

...post strange pictures involving my cat and my friends.

Weed King recently transformed into a walrus

I also made Jesse a single pancake!

Now that I think about it, by blaming Lane I completely accused my friend of hindering my blogging. When all is said and done, I guess I was just lazy.

Whole Lotta Nothing

2010-04-11T21:27:00.000-07:00

It has been a solid six months or so since I travelled from Colorado to Sacramento with my pops and grandpops. They had been driving all the way from Maine and requested that I be air lifted in halfway through their journey to assist them. Unfortunately my elders failed to realize I cannot operate a stick shift, so I did little more than take pictures and force them to pull over at strange restaurants and skateparks. My only positive contribution to the trip was keeping my dad company after 7pm, which has always been my grandpa's bedtime.

The severed head of Abraham Lincoln staring out over the highway.

Ken Calderwood himself, chowing down on a dollar ice cream cone.

Pure desolation in Utah.

Pure crack mayne, pure unfiltered crack!

This is how the people of Elko Nevada trim their lawns.

It's all about the scenery children.

Not so Seasonal

2010-03-26T15:30:00.000-07:00

Once upon a dreary december night whilst writing poetry by candle light and playing with... ok so that was a lie, this story begins on a typical spring day. The type of day where the sun shows itself at 7 am and retreats to the heavens at a leisurely 8 pm. The type of day that is overflowing with the chirps of sparrows and vibrant colors of newly born poppies. It was the type of day where Quynh would forever become my life long companion.

"Eh dawg, check out what I got ya at da liquor sto" (these are all actually Quynh quotes).

My dear cat had found the last remaining 12 pack of Celebration Ale; a wonderfully hop filled winter ale with a beautiful color and belly warming smoothness.

"Chill out ho, it's actually just a ten pack. Some mark ass trick must have swiped a couple, no wonder it was so cheap."

Cheers my friend.

Typical Jive

2010-02-19T14:10:00.000-08:00

It's not at all unusual for a Calderwood to engage in some sort of strange activity for no apparent reason at an unexpected time. I have inherited this trait and learned to embrace it, but it is my father who truly has made an art form out of what appears to most as a behavioral disorder. I have witnessed my father roast nuts at 5:30 in the morning, clean the gutters while it is pouring rain, and most recently...

begin carving up a smoked turkey half way through watching The Hurt Locker.

My dad and I find it very hard to stay focused on a movie that exceeds two hours, no matter how engrossing it may be.

"Try this, it's the shits (my father says "the shits" instead of "the shit)."

Double your Pleasure

2010-02-19T10:42:00.000-08:00

Oh what a joy it is to eat eggs. Nothing is more satisfying than caressing that smooth shiny orb, cracking it open on the edge of a frying pan, and watching the embryo with slide gracefully onto a nonstick surface generously coated in warm butter. What on earth could ever compare to such a euphoric experience?

It is on those rare occasions when two yolks reside in one shell, that you truly experience life. It's just like eating siamese twins. Or think of it as twice the cholesterol, twice the taste, and twice the fun!

Making Love to a Dead Horse

2010-02-10T20:52:00.001-08:00

Listen, I hate to beat a dead horse (or make love to one, as title indicates) but I must remind all of you wonderful Cloggers that I am still very much interested in exchanging oven fresh treats for product. The supply of boards I once enjoyed with reckless abandon has dwindled away to almost nothing. I am more than willing to make pies for anyone who wants to barter, but have recently expanded my range of baked goods to include breads and pastry.

You to can be in possession of a giant loaf of olive rosemary bread. All you must do is, yah know, hook me up with some weed, errrr I mean crack, I mean POT! Wait maybe some bearings.

Why go to Paris when you can just give me a board and experience all that France has to offer. Croissants come plain or with ham, cheese, chocolate, turkey, swiss, bacon, meth, heroine, almond, and just about anything else you can think of that doesn't cost me more than fifty dollars. Because if that happens to be the case, then I am just going to buy myself a board and spend the time it would take baking on better things like doing hard core CRACK!

So Much God Damn Brass

2010-01-29T19:28:00.000-08:00

The explanation of this entry will remain brief. All that needs to be said is, brass is the way to true happiness. Brass is the material by which our sleeping fantasies materialize. while laying up on the big brass bed all of life's secrets are revealed. So ladies, lay upon MY BIG ASS BRASS BEAD!

This Lady straight turned to brass while she was laying across that big old brass bed.

New revelations in brass.

Just a Friendly Reminder From Quynh

2010-01-13T15:47:00.000-08:00

Quynh would like to remind all of you puny humans that he is more than ready to rip the flesh from your ungrateful bones.

He doesn't sleep 16 hours a day just to bat around a ball of yarn people, trust me.

The End of Years and the Opening of Beers

2010-01-05T21:13:00.000-08:00

2009 came to a close with fights, shattered glass, pyrotechnics, and laughter. 2010 is already shaping up to be one for the record books. Keep close my children. Here are a splattering of holiday images.

Insanity knew no greater partners.

Calderwood's like to celebrate the birth of jesus by smashing in santa's head and wearing it like a hat.

Twas two years prior that Quynh became part of our family.

I am overjoyed to have been able to spend thanksgiving's eve with these two.

How can you possibly get enough of Quynh and David? Wait, Don't answer that.

Thank you all for coming to my humble home on new years eve. And a special thanks to the person who left a twelve pack Bud Light Lime in my kitchen.

Because lord knows that we are not picky.

Merry HalloweenMas Eve's Eve

2009-12-23T17:23:00.000-08:00

Tis the night before Christmas Eve Day
and all through the hood,
not a creature was stirring
except a Calderwood.

The Holidays mean baking and pushing the limits of sugar consumption, so go get all cracked out and carve a pumpkin.

I present to you the Boogeyman.

Decking the Halls with Dank

2009-12-19T20:42:00.000-08:00

My father, better known as the almighty Tom Calderwood, was purchasing a small cup of joe at Starbucks in downtown Campbell, when he was approached by one of the baristas working there. "You look just like the father from 7th Heaven," she exclaimed with a twinkle in her eye. I can only imagine the face my father made in response. Hopefully it looked something like this.

Whether or not Tom looks anything like Stephen Collins is up for debate.

Here is Tom Calderwood performing his famous "Don't Smoke Pot" monologue.

Oh by Gosh by Golly...

2009-12-13T20:49:00.000-08:00

...it's time for mistletoe and holly. Bring some fine little honey to the nearest computer and show her The Clog. You are sure to get laid beyond belief this holiday season. I now present to you a few holiday related photographs.

If not for these two there would be no Clog. As if that even matters.

This place changes upwards of five dollars for a tube steak. I suppose it is the view you pay for, and the profound road signs.

When the weather gets shitty, the shitty get baking. Cranberry Pecan pie is the new "go to" pie, so trade me something for this heart warming yum yum.

Mountain Charlie was once known for roaming the Santa Cruz hills, beating the living shit out of bears, raping trees, and doing all things that burley men did back in those days. He is now known for sharing a name with one of Los Gatos' premier drinking locations. Drive a few miles up the road though, and you'll see the type of trees good old charlie is capable of dishing out.

December means winter time, winter time means fires, and fires mean sleeping kitties. December also means early sunsets, early sunsets mean early drinking, early drinking means early passing out by the fireplace. When you combine sleeping kitties and drunk people you get lots of scratches and bites. Tis the season my friends.

Size Matters

2009-11-18T19:03:00.001-08:00

size matters, and in the case of daylight less is more. The time of year is upon us when the days are shorter and the the nights are colder. To many, this marks the end of good times and staying out until the wee hours of the evening. Yet I feel that these are the glory times. The times when we all must suck every last drop of life out of the day, and savor every second that the sun graces the earth with its radiant presence. This also marks the time of year when beautiful sunsets are in abundance. Here are a few photos from a day when the sunlight was not taken for granted.

The sky is ablaze.

The soothing slant of Evergreen High's parking lot.

Tis a Nugget.

Spot Check

2009-11-11T17:52:00.000-08:00

I love fish. I love touching them, I love eating them, and I sure as hell love getting in bed naked with a couple of fine scaly flipper flopping floozies and... well... you know. When it comes to devouring sea creatures I am far from picky, but I do have a soft spot in my heart for fish tacos and other mexican seafood dishes. Dia De Pesca is located on the corner of Bascom and San Carlos and is definitely forth a visit.

Just look for this glowing beacon of hope.

A couple of tasty tacos, one breaded halibut and the other grilled snapper.

My pops got enchiladas with snapper. This sauce will turn your balls green.

What would a mexican meal be without some flan?

Tom Calderwood's expression says it all, "yah that's what's up."

Recapping and Crapping

2009-11-03T11:30:00.000-08:00

As I sit here defecating with much joy and delight, I find that my brain is occupied with wispy leave coated images of october. With each chunk of poop comes a different memory of fall. I can see Halloween decorations adorning lawns, I can smell roasted gourds bursting from a hot oven, and I can smile knowing that good times have been had and more will surely follow. Below is a collection of random photos that illustrate the joys of october.

P.s I actually was not taking a dump during this post.

Eat your Damn Pie, Damnit

2009-10-27T21:52:00.000-07:00

Pie is one of the greatest things on the planet, and so is pumpkin, and so is fall, and so are nuts... so therefore by default, pumpkin pie with nut topping must be the single most amazing to grace god's green earth . One slice of this pie contains more than half the daily requirement of vitamin A, and a nice wholesome helping of protein and fiber (I think). So grub away my friends, because fall is upon us and everyone needs some pie in their lives.

Ghouls Over my Garage

2009-10-25T12:49:00.000-07:00

I know that Halloween is closing in when ghouls start appearing above my garage. It makes it hard for me to skate my box when there is a menacing demon looming over my head, but at least it enhances my holiday spirit.

A Grinch for every Season

2009-10-20T22:21:00.000-07:00

As Halloween approaches it is important to pay tribute to those frightful animated films that bring us thrills and chills. People typically think of Tim Burton's The NIghtmare Before Christmas and Charlie Brown's The Great Pumpkin when it comes to animated fright flicks, but what about Dr. Sues?

unbeknownst to most, not only did the Grinch terrorize Whoville during Christmas but also on Halloween night! Halloween is Grinch Night was released during the late 70's and boasts some bizarre creatures and subtle religious undertones, that may or may not lend to the film's obscurity. Having said this, I doubt Grinch NIght is available at your local Blockbuster (no offense Chase), so come over to my home and we will have pie and a movie night.

That damn Grinch is always getting into some creepy ass shit.

Smells I am Intrigued by

2009-10-14T18:25:00.001-07:00

Fall smells better than all of the other seasons combined, pureed in a food processor, sprinkled with brown sugar, and baked to a perfect golden brown. Nothing compares to the scent of the crisp morning air, and freshly steamed pumpkin spiced lattes of fall. All these aromas are in abundance during this glorious season, however lately I have been confronted with some thought provoking smells (the below pictures are not of the actual event).

The first smell that presented itself to me was that of festering rain soaked dumpster filth. I took a shortcut to my class today and found a wonderful collection of trash cans and recycling bins that had been drenched by the torrential downpour the day before. The smell reminded me of a wet rotting dog carcass encased in old pizza boxes.

The second pungent aroma I encountered was at the Roosevelt Park mere hours ago. While gleefully rolling around on my skateboard I noticed a dark cloud of smoke engulfing my surroundings. After some investigating I discovered that the fog of filth was coming from a bbq fifty yards away. This particular grill session must have been fueled by plastic bottles and dried up feces because after an hour or so of exposure to the smoke I felt light headed and weak.

Oh Yes, It is Fall

2009-10-07T21:25:00.000-07:00

Cast aside your worries, sink your teeth into a sliver of pumpkin cheesecake, and desensitize yourself by watching one of the many vomit inducing horror movies that adorn the walls of blockbuster. Scary movies are monsters and so are monsters... having said that, here is the first of many fall film recommendations I will burden you all (Ben Fowler, Lane Kerans, and maybe Nugget) with.

Those Koreans sure do know how to create an unbelievably bizarre monster. Let the Horror begin!

Pastry Expansion

2009-09-14T21:52:00.000-07:00

Today is Weed King's birthday. If have have no idea who Weed King is then you must be living underneath a giant boulder, because he is the greatest thing to hit San Jose since Tecate.

The King of Weed is pictured on the right.

I baked a chocolate sheet cake for WK's birthday day. Twas a welcome break from pie baking, and marks a whole new era in Clog baking.

The Choicest Death Destination

2009-09-12T14:30:00.000-07:00

The lush grassy valleys and rolling snow capped hills of Scandinavia.

Bring on the afterlife.

Death is not the End

2009-09-01T00:34:00.000-07:00

Of course, who would want such an end all be all? No one wants to die, but if we must then why be restricted to either heaven or hell? Stay tuned for the ultimate afterlife location :)

Jerking off

2009-08-18T11:18:00.000-07:00

This enormous piece of beef jerky has graced the walls of The Cave since its original inhabitants first arrived. Carson Lee has recently parted ways with his beloved home and eccentric yet sexy roommates. No one dared break open the package and take a bite out of the giant piece of meat, until a couple weeks ago while Carson was packing up some of his belongings.

Soon after gnawing on the two year old slab of dehydrated steak Carson embarked on his own personal couch tour. He has been crashing on people's floors all over the greater San Jose area, so keep your doors unlocked because the homeless Viper needs a place to rest his lovely little head.

Going that Extra Mile

2009-07-27T10:33:00.000-07:00

Documenting the events on a particular day is strange because it forces the documenter to view the day through a filter of hindsight even though the events have yet to occur. Don't fret over wether or not any of this makes a lick of sense, because chances are nothing that happened on this particular day made a lick of sense either.

After an arduous day of skating svp 2 Jesse and I embarked on a quest for refreshment. We desperately craved adult sodas but the only form of currency we had came in the form of Jesse's Chevron card. Hindsight could never have prepared me for the day that lay ahead of me.

Jesse Powered up for the adventure with some pineapple soda. Only Chevrons with an Extra Mile market attached to them sell booze, so that is where we were headed.

Unfortunately neither one of us knew where an Extra Mile was located. After a few miles on 101 South the farm houses began multiplying...

...as did the fruit stands.

Well, looks like we're headed for Gilroy.

The temperature increaseed and Jesse and I began to regret the journey we had embarked on.

The next thing Jesse and I knew we were passing through Watsonville and on our way to Santa Cruz. It was at this time the weather some how turned a complete 180.

Jesse then remembered where an Extra Mile was in Santa Cruz.

You took the words right our of my mouth.

Corn dog high fives.

The fruits of our labor.

Off the Wagon

2009-07-15T20:56:00.000-07:00

Those who have seen The Never Ending Story know all too well the gleeful smiling face of Falcor. This mythical flying puppy's face is a symbol of hope and innocence. It is shining beacon of hope in a world of darkness and despair.

Actually, taking into account recent events, perhaps I should rephrase my last statement. Falcore "was" a symbol of innocence...

...that was until he began hitting the sauce. At first it was just a couple beers during BBQs and social functions.

It was not long however, before everyone's beloved canine was downing malt liquor on the streets of San Jose. Let us hope this is just a passing phase for Falcor and that AA meetings will not be required.

Just kidding,

Let us all follow the lead of Falcor. Summer is upon us, time to party!

Troubled Times

2009-06-24T20:28:00.000-07:00

When the going gets tough, the tough say "fuck it." Tuck your worries away for the summer my friends! Time to shred and have fun.

A good old fashion stump sighting can brighten the darkest of days.

Finding fun in the midst of anguish.

All in the Family

2009-06-24T09:18:00.000-07:00

Over the past weeks there have been parties aplenty and good times left and right. Avril Calderwood constructed a dessert of madeleines, an assortment of fresh berries, and combination of custard and raspberry sauces.

A welcome change from the typical pie.

The Three B's

2009-06-14T11:31:00.000-07:00

Sometimes all the puzzle pieces of life tumble gracefully into place. Sometimes all of the stress and turmoil that comes with daily life vanishes into an abyss of Beers, BBQ and Backside Noseblunts. Sometimes the three B's are all a man needs to be happy.

Peter prepares the condiments.

Young Benjamin loves to renegade his beer then pawn them off to others. In this picture his gingerly sips America's finest brew.

The Weed King cometh.

Chase "might be drunk."

The years of working at Happy Hound really have paid off.

Solid meat.

Mustard is the king of condiments.

Bongathon enjoys his meal amongst a patch of lovely bright flowers.

Beer and BBQ...

...and Backside Noseblunts.

Those who were unable to land 360 flips on the cruiser board had to shotgun a beer.

Weed King reigns supreme.

Sorry

2009-06-08T11:26:00.000-07:00

Despite what the aforementioned post suggests, there will be a slight wait on the Peter Raffin Clog. Instead I will dedicate this entry to Matt Hicks, a young man whose status in the greater Campbell region of Silicon Valley is nothing short of legendary. Who else can firecracker three blocks by day and kill bottles of rum by night?

Full Circle

2009-06-04T22:03:00.000-07:00

Twas many moons ago that young Peter Raffin performed a 180 nose grind on this hubba ledge, and had the sequence run in Slap Magazine. I vividly recall watching Peter skate through a pair of booze stained eyes and wondering what the future of his skating would be like.
Several years down the road, and we find ourselves in the very same location. I with my camera and Peter with his board, both living the only life we know...

...skateboarding. Lately I have witnessed many changes in my own life and the lives of those around me. I have felt the pressure of work and school intensify, and have seen the same pressure placed on those who skate for a living. The stakes are higher and and road is rougher for Mr. Raffin, but he will always have his true friends by his side. During these troubled times we huddle next to the warmth of carefree nights like these...(stay tuned for next Clog post).

Yummy Pockets of Flaky Goodness

2009-05-19T21:15:00.000-07:00

711 brand products are not only cheap as dirt, but taste twice as good as dirt. If you have yet to taste a cream cheese and jalapeno go go taquito you are officially blowing it.

I was inspired by 711 and their zesty creamy treats, and decided to create my own.

Flaky pastry crust encasing a cream cheese, sour cream, and jalapeno pepper filling... what else could you want?

oh yah, maybe a couple of these little guys.

Arizona Vacation

2009-05-14T00:56:00.000-07:00

It was the first time driving for over ten hours straight, it was the first time drinking coffee... way too much coffee, it was the first time experiencing the awesomeness that is Stephen Miller, and it was the first time Peter Laffin graced us with his cackling laugh and maniacal presence. It was the first Arizona Vacation.

Peter V.S. Jason

2009-05-12T21:26:00.000-07:00

Jason Voorhees has terrorized generations horny adolescents at camp crystal lake, gangsters and wannabe rock stars in Manhattan, and even an elite group of scientists conducting experiments deep within the furthest reaches of space.

However, when it comes to wreaking havoc upon the mean streets of San Jose, we all know who the culprit is.

The Raffinator strikes again.