Getting Shitty in Nevada City

 The air had a biting chill that February morning, as I stood beneath the looming Nevada City Courthouse monolith.  I was to appear in court that day not to plead my innocence, but to demand that the late fees on my ticket be expunged.  I planned on using big fancy words like "expunge" to impress the judge.  

I surveyed other miscreants occupying the courthouse steps, curiously reading over the details of their offenses with puzzled faces and worried looks, and realized that two types of people exist in this world.  Those who prepare, and those who procrastinate.  Typically I would find myself in the later category, frantically cramming information into my skull like a bank robber stuffing a pillow case full of money.  Today my argument was carefully planned out with proper documentation from reliable sources all tightly enclosed in a manila folder.  Wearing my nicest collared shirt, I felt almost eager to stand in front of the judge, like one of those assholes in high school who wears a suit to give a presentation.  Needless to say my demands were met in full, and from that moment forward I would dedicate my life to becoming a lawyer... 

In like a Lion, out like a Lamb

An old saying claims that March is born a fierce lion bringing stormy weather, but eventually retires into lamb form with bright skies and friendly temperatures.  The lion/lamb transformation analogy also applies to the partying that takes place during this volatile month.  An onslaught of merriment consumes the first portion of the March like a stout soaked tsunami and then tappers off as April approaches.  March is like a snowball of debauchery tumbling down a mountain, growing larger every year with each new friend's birthday it absorbs along the way.  The first wave of birthdays is about to hit our unsuspecting shore like a god damn monsoon, with gale force winds sure to leave you without wallet or shirt.  Consider yourselves in the lion's den.