It is best to have Jurassic Park theme music playing whilst reading this Clog post. Whether you prefer "Helicopter Majestically Circling Tropical Landing Pad" or "Dr. Malcolm Staring in Disbelief at a Real Living Breathing Dinosaur, makes no difference as long as the mood is properly set. Now we may proceed with addressing one of the most notoriously aggravating conundrums to plague the scientific world. Hours upon hours of laborious effort has been expended to solve the mystery of which came first, the bush or the tree. Leading scientists in the field of shrubbery have spent many a sleepless night analyzing fossilized root, bone and semen samples, but to no avail. Due to cut backs on government spending, 2016 is the year that almost saw the bush tree study put to an end. That is, until German scientist Otto Van Clogstein, after taking several hits of acid, discovered a cave painting dating back to 420 B.C. that reveled the answer.
The bush existed on the earth long before the tree, and only evolved into its taller form to better feed long necked herbivores. Do not attempt to fact check any of this with Wikipedia, just take my word for it.
