The picture below contains an image known as an emoji. I have been intrigued by emojis as of late because of their innocent appearance and comical nature. They are primarily used in text messages as a replacement for words or phrases to convey a wide range of emotions. Emojis can be interpreted in many different ways and often contain subtle innuendos, usually of the sexual nature. No emoji demonstrates this better than the eggplant. It is used primarily as a phallic symbolic rather than an actual vegetable. Have we as a society lost touch with mother nature and the cornucopia of edible delights she offers us? Instead of a wholesome eggplant we see a dick, or in place of a vitamin packed peach we envision a ripe luscious ass. I suggest a retreat from the perverse and a resurgence agricultural awareness.
Beware of the wolf in sheep's clothing. Know the difference between the flesh world and the digital abyss that is your text message screen.
It may be a little discolored and slightly less robust than its emoji brother, but this is an eggplant you can reach out and actually touch with your bare hands. Go ahead, grasp it tightly with your hand.
Alright enough fondling the eggplant, time to peel, slice, egg wash, and flour.
Hot oil coats the eggplant and results in crispy majestic medallions.
All it takes is a layer of eggplant, sauce, cheese and repeat.
And here we have emoji, shit I mean, eggplant parmesan. Smash your phone against the coffee table and pour yourself a glass of wine, because you are now human.