See you on the Battlefield

I have always thought that stumbling into a rowdy bar is similar to charging headlong into battle.  This ignorant uneducated comparison is in no way meant to belittle those who have experienced war first hand, and the significant date of this post (Veterans Day) is nothing but coincidence.  Excellent, now I can belly flop guilt free into this completely absurd and untimely Clog post. 

Drinking within the cozy confines of a bar is nothing more than an adult version of playing with little green army men in a sandbox.  Now let us decide which plastic soldier you most resemble.  

Clockwise from top left:

1.  You are spending far more time on the phone trying to call for reinforcements than actually pounding brewskis with the troops already at your side.  Or maybe your girlfriend is just pissed off at you.  

2.  You've got the heavy artillery out tonight, with plenty of shots to go around.  You may not be on the front line chatting it up with every human being in sight, but anyone who gets in your path is going to get a firm hug or an earful of nonsense. 

3.  We see you over there in the corner, acting all sly with your cocktail and curiously shifty eyes.  Perhaps you only wish to observe the madness, or perhaps its sexual conquest you're after.

4.  You came straight from cashing your paycheck to knocking back shots at the bar.  You are on the front line demanding nothing less than death or glory.  You'll be telling your friends war stories, if you can remember them.  

5.  You are in way over your head but still want a piece of the action.  This battle is no place for someone as shy or sober as you, but still you insist on crawling into the melee.  Is it a blind sense of duty or mere stupidity that drives you to fight?  Stray bullets and splashed drinks assail you whilst ponying up to the beer soaked bar. 

6.  Oh hey there wildcard, what's that you got there in your hand?  You've got a couple screws loose because the AMF is your weapon of choice.  Suicide bar bomber best describes you, and your time in battle will be brief.  I sense a dishonorable discharge from the bar within minutes.  

P.s. I always fancied the flamethrower soldier myself.