As Christmas Slips Away

Having your birthday the day after Christmas must be a little rough.  With all the fun and merriment exerted on the 25th people tend to be less eager to party the following day.  I also doubt your dear friends have very much gift giving left in them.  It would really suck to be born on December 26th, but it would be even worse to be a holiday the the day after Christmas.  

I have endless sympathy for Boxing Day.  This overlooked holiday whimpers around in the shadow of Christmas like a nerdy younger brother.  It truly is a shame because Boxing Day is both more meaningful and modest than it's older brother.  In olden times servants carried around little boxes designed for collecting money from their bosses.  Placing money in these boxes was known as boxing, which we now call tipping.  December 26th was a day for employers to hook up their employees with fat tips yo!  So for all you waiters, bartenders, baristas, strippers, and anyone else who relies on those few extra dollars to survive, rejoice because today is our day! 

The Demon Baker of 13th Street

I have always been fond of the film, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.  I think it might have something to do with the films subject matter, that includes decapitation, cannibalism, revenge and meat pies.

While Sweeney Todd's throat slitting is indeed amusing, it is Mrs. Lovett's (who I have to assume is a distant relative of Jon Lovitz) 

use of human flesh as meat pie filing that truly peaks my interest.

This holiday season I am honoring the wonderful Mrs. Lovett by baking some meat pies of my own.

There are several delightful flavors like ground pork and mashed potato.

Try the ham, broccoli, and cheddar for breakfast!

Lastly we have here steak and mushroom filing that is cooked in ale and spices.

Christmas is almost upon us, so place your orders before I am too drunk off eggnog to operate a rolling pin.  Merry Christmas!

Beach Body in the Dead of Winter

Here at The Clog we have always been deeply connected to the fitness world, and spend countless hours developing new ways to ensure that you and your loved ones lead an active and healthy life.  Our newest weight loss venture is somewhat experimental, but the key concept is strongly supported by Men's Health and other reputable publications.  Recent studies show that sleeping in colder temperatures speeds up metabolism, increases fat burning, and some other mumbo jumbo regarding different colored fat that you are more than welcome to read about here: http://www.webmd.com/diet/news/20140122/could-turning-down-the-thermostat-help-you-lose-weight.    

If subjecting oneself to uncomfortably cold temperatures during slumber is the key to weight loss, then why not spend a night at The Yellow House Icebox Overnight Spa!  Ever wonder how the occupants of this dilapidated shack off 13th and Santa Clara posses some of the hottest bodies in all of San Jose?  Let us just say it isn't their diet of beer and tacos, but rather the fact that during the winter months they sleep in below freezing temperatures.  For only twenty dollars a night you can spend the night sleeping on the floor in one of five unattractive rooms in the Yellow House.  After only a few sessions you are guaranteed to see results.  Imagine the breath you see leaving your frozen purple lips as pounds gracefully exiting your ass and thighs.  

Side effects may include:  Increased mucus secretion, shortness of breath, cough, color change in fingers and toes, arrhythmia, muscle weakness, asthma, shrinkage of the testicles and penis in males, frostbite, hypothermia, and in some cases, death.   

Happy Holidays!