Lessons in Religion

"Be not fearful of my presence mortal, for I bring with me only mirthful tidings," said the Archangel Dagmar.  And so Jebediah cast aside his fear and approached the towering celestial figure.  The silence of the night hung heavy as a wreath around the two of them.  "Am I wrong, during this most joyous time of year, to revel in the Dionysian pursuits of the mortal world," inquired Jebediah.  "What knowledge have you of the pleasures awaiting you in the next life, or if such a life even exists," responded Dagmar.  Jebediah pondered the Archangel's words for a moment, and then with great jubilation answered, "I suppose there is no certainty in a life after this one.  Perhaps I should feel no guilt indulging in all the glorious delights this Christmas has to offer!"  "Yolo," responded Dagmar, "Yolo."          

Humping an imperial walker is acceptable.

Bring all your friends together!

Los Gatos in full splender.

Pour your own beer on your birthday.

Make a steak face.

And never forget the ham.