The last Clog of 2008

The year has come to an end, and what a year it has been. This past year has provided us with both joy and sorrow, and as I write my last Clog of 2008 I can not help but think... how utterly pointless New Years Eve is. Sorry, but I am just not backing New Years. There are no pumpkins to be carved, no trees to be chopping down, and no eggs to be decorated. The only good thing about New Years Eve is that Ben Fowler's birthday is on the same night. We should remember this night for Fowler's entrance into the world, not the coming of a new year. So happy birthday dear friend, the Clog loves you, and so do the rest of us. Honestly I am still stuck in the middle of december.

Mexican Food Hotspots

Greetings all, I hope the holidays treated you wonderfully. I am sure most of you have had your fill of turkey, mashed potatoes and holiday desserts (except pie... pie is FOREVER) so the Clog is here to provide you with other forms of savory taste bud tantalization. I myself am quite partial to quality Mexican food, and this humble shack located in Los Banos serves some of the tastiest tacos, tortas, and burritos I have ever laid my tongue upon. More specifically, Cutija has a dizzying array of meats to select from, and the cabeza is unbeatable. Yes... cabeza is meat from the cow's head... and yes... it is delicious. When you are done eating treat yourself to one of the many incredible Los Banos skate spots.

Christmas Clog Yule Time Log

It is now seven PM on wednesday December twenty third. My dear friend Lane Kerans has been demanding that I make the trek over to his house all day, but much to his dismay I have been occupied with baking. It is not usual for me to spend hours upon end slaving away in the kitchen creating dough and producing pie filing. What makes today different is that I am baking a cake, or a Buche De Noel if specifics are something you find appealing. This is a rolled cake that originated in France and resembles a Yule Log. Merry Christmas my friends! I love you all!

More Tidings of Joy

Tom Waits would also like to wish you all a very merry Christmas from the bottom of his fifth of whiskey.

It's Cold Outside

The sunlight is fleeting and the winter chill becomes fiercer and fiercer as we spiral into the winter months. Gone are the days of skateboarding till eight PM and wiping sweat from your brow. We can moan and bitch about the cold all day long but let us not forget how awful the summer can be. The next time you find yourself curling up into your coat with a grimace on your face think back to all the sunburn, heatstroke, and uncomfortably warm nights summer brings. If all else fails, switch on the Food Network and marvel and the incredible Paula Deen. Eat some pie and have a glorious winter's night!

Pie, Another Look

While shaving (my face) today I began thinking back to that part in American Pie where Jim violates a freshly made, lattice top, apple pie. I can not fathom what would drive a normal person to commit such an act of depravity. Personally I do not condone any sort of sexual conduct directed towards pies, or any other pastry for that matter. However I did begin to ask myself the question, "If I were to make love to a pie, what type would it be?"


So ladies and gentlemen, I present to you without further ado, the three most fuckable pies. I also have included the least sexually appealing pie.

3.
Lemon meringue Has a relatively firm texture when compared to other custard pies like pumpkin and sweet potato. I also imagine that penetrating the fluffy topping of the pie may have an interesting feel. I'd do her.

2.
Now this is a thick pie. The banana cream, while not being a very tasty pie in the least, would provide the strongest custard filling for a good amount of pounding. This little number would last all night long. More cushin' for the pushin.'

1.
The cherry pie is the number one most fuckable pie, and for good reason. Just the name "cherry pie" conjures up thoughts of sexual conquest and exploration. This pie has lattice top slits and a stable filling. Other fruit pies like apple may also provide hours of pleasure, but the size of cherries makes this pie perfect. Give it to me a la mode baby!

WARNING!

The least fuckable pie on earth would have to be the pecan. Despite its amazing taste, this pie would perform terribly in the sack. Just imagine what it would feel like to rub you penis against a half pound of rock hard pecans. Definitely not getting a boner off of this one.

So there you have it folks... not only have I provided you with a list of the loosest pies on the market, but I have also lost my mind in the process. Take comfort in my insanity. Merry Christmas and a happy screw year.

Tidings of Joy

Today my family and I attended The Dickens Christmas Far. It was a glorious occasion filled with dancing, singing and gingerbread. My mother was stoked due to the fact that she could browse the Victorian style shopping outlets, and I was stoked on the spiced mulled wine. Nothing makes my spirit tingle like wreathes of garland and figgy pudding. Things like gin drinking wenches also causes a tingling sensation.

A Message from the Tobacco Company

We all know that these days Mike Sunseri smokes like gosh darn chimney, but where did he get his start? What happened to this fine young man to make him want to inhale that sweet black tar? During one of my routine attempts at tapping into my nostalgic side I came upon the answer. I now have photographic proof that Richard DiTullio is responsible for the obliteration of Mikey's lungs!


oh yah... and here is a NUT cracker.

Word's of Wisdom from my Film Professor

My Modern Cinema Professor has a vast knowledge of film techniques and styles. With every lecture comes new insights into the world of movie making... and also insights into the world of cheap booze. My teacher has quite a pension for hard liquor in plastic containers. His old stand by is Albertson's Gin, but today he shared with us some information on vodka.


"Gordon's Vodka is quite an amazing brand. You can buy a plastic handle for around 12 dollars and it has a pretty nice taste. If you're having a party what you do is buy a bottle of Grey Goose, drink that yourself, and then pour the Gordon's Vodka into the empty bottle. No one you serve it to will ever notice the difference... I promise you!"

Pies for Product Update

Pies for Product is back in full effect. Message or comment me in some way, shape, or form in order to receive mouth watering baked good. Come on folk, tis the season!

December

December first means that Christmas is on the horizon (unless you happen to be one of those people shop in July or get your Christmas tree immediately after Thanksgiving dinner). There are tons of Christmas movies out there but this one is easily the best. Tis the season.

Happy Thanksgiving

Everyone at The Clog (aka... me) would like to wish all of you (aka... Ben Fowler) a wonderful Thanksgiving. Here is a how this glorious holiday will be in the future.

A Peter from the Past

Twas a cold rainy day some years ago, that Peter, Richard, and I wondered into a Pho joint to warm our bellies and our hearts.

Portrait of Peter

I have a colorful bunch of friends. When describing people, "colorful" is another way of saying weird. In my case, This works out perfectly. I present to you... Peter Raffin.

The Answer...

Is pumpkin pieces being drained for pumpkin pie!

Neon Oblivion

When driving long distances one becomes accustomed to seeing various gas stations and food markets. The neon letters that spell out "Chevron," "AM PM," and "Travel Center" are burned into the night sky. To some, these fluorescent constellations are an eyesore, but to me they are as comforting as the cup of coffee awaiting me at each one. These are a few pictures from my most recent voyage down Interstate 5.


I am always drawn to this food mart/ gas depot. It is usually at a point when I need gas and snacks.


I do not go near this stuff, but if your the type of person who does, then this is the place for you.


AM PM is easily the best travel destination this side of the Mississippi. I also like how they are paired with Arco Gas Stations, which are the Coors Light of the gasoline world.


It hosts a cornucopia of snacks, goodies... and gas station cappuccinos. If you have never tasted one of these, then you ought to hit up your nearest AM PM.


Pick your poison my friends.

?

Whomever can guess what these are shall win a glorious prize.

More...

Seasonal boozing! Pumpkin Spice Liquor... what more can I say... or what else should I say? Keep the good times of fall rolling!

Happy Halloween

The Jersey shore wishes you a wonderful Halloween. If you have not yet exhumed a corpse, dressed it up in a fancy suit, and taken it out to get pho... then you had better get a move on.

Seasonal Boozing

I have not been able to Clog nearly as much I would like. I blame school, work, society, and SATAN! Either way, it is almost halloween so its time to make up for a lack of it. Drink some of this while you watch the Exorcist... NAKED... I might add.

If you pound back enough of these little guys you may find yourself transformed into an actual pumpkin. Now that is a situation only Gregor Samsa would relate to. And that is a reference I doubt anyone will understand.

You Ought to See

I pride myself in having seen quite a few horror films in my day, and find that I have become somewhat jaded to violent and disturbing images. Taking that into account you should know that the film displayed above is no joke.

Frankenstein

This is Tom Calderwood's (my father's) Clog debut. In retrospect I wish it could have been under more pleasant circumstances, but this incident fits perfectly with my Halloween style posts. As you all know (or should know) my pops is a regular surf ninja. He usually shred the SHIT out of anything in his path, but the other day things did not go so well. He received a board to the cranium and a nice set of staples... yes... staples. Happy really early Halloween!

Happy October!

Fall is an amazing season, what with all the colorful leaves and balmy weather. Halloween is positioned during October and adds to the magic of the season. Each october I like to partake in the watching of horror movies and animal sacrifices. In order to honor my seasonal ways I shall have Clog posts dedicated to creepy imagines and Halloween related things. here is a trick of Nugget after he gets possessed by the devil.

Designated Wallride Spots

After observing the series of scrapes and smudges on this 3rd street wall, one daunting question creeps into my mind like a worm into an apple... why this wall? What makes this vertically designed mass of concrete different from the countless others scattered throughout San Jose? Furthermore, what makes the two foot section of the wall upon which the marks are concentrated so special? More philosophical skate quandaries as they arise.

Jesse Rose...

... Has no literal connection to this clip, but I love him... and Clark... and his video post on myspace reminded me to post something on this Clog. EMP supports the use of hard drugs but Peter Raffin does not! It is a simple fact.

The Video that Never was

This is a teaser for a video I was planning on making but never did. Back in those days I had a gl2... and a van... and worked at happy hound... and... well... I guess not too much has changed.

Red Hot Magma!

WHOA... that can not be natural.


But Nugget could not care less.

Get Laid in the Shade

We skated the bank to barrier for a leisurely twelve hours or so the other day.

"This grass is good to lounge on."

"Hey man your right!"

Chillin'

Who is that dark figure lurking in the shadows???


Aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwww DAMN... trip not my friends... tis only my good buddy Lane.

The Exodus of Jesse and Clark

Two of my best friends (and also two of the greatest humans on this planet) are moving to San Diego tomorrow. I will miss you guys...

enjoy your lemon meringue :)

Killer Shades Braw!

I saw this movie last night and it was pretty darn dope.

Saturdazzzzzzeddddd

Saturday was strange, confusing, but quite fun. Probably because I spent it with...


...Miller time...


...and Zack.


Taking a bite out of crime (assuming that uneaten cheese steaks are illegal).


A priceless moment in time. "I gotta smoke when I drink, yah know?"