The last Clog of 2008

The year has come to an end, and what a year it has been. This past year has provided us with both joy and sorrow, and as I write my last Clog of 2008 I can not help but think... how utterly pointless New Years Eve is. Sorry, but I am just not backing New Years. There are no pumpkins to be carved, no trees to be chopping down, and no eggs to be decorated. The only good thing about New Years Eve is that Ben Fowler's birthday is on the same night. We should remember this night for Fowler's entrance into the world, not the coming of a new year. So happy birthday dear friend, the Clog loves you, and so do the rest of us. Honestly I am still stuck in the middle of december.

Mexican Food Hotspots

Greetings all, I hope the holidays treated you wonderfully. I am sure most of you have had your fill of turkey, mashed potatoes and holiday desserts (except pie... pie is FOREVER) so the Clog is here to provide you with other forms of savory taste bud tantalization. I myself am quite partial to quality Mexican food, and this humble shack located in Los Banos serves some of the tastiest tacos, tortas, and burritos I have ever laid my tongue upon. More specifically, Cutija has a dizzying array of meats to select from, and the cabeza is unbeatable. Yes... cabeza is meat from the cow's head... and yes... it is delicious. When you are done eating treat yourself to one of the many incredible Los Banos skate spots.

Christmas Clog Yule Time Log

It is now seven PM on wednesday December twenty third. My dear friend Lane Kerans has been demanding that I make the trek over to his house all day, but much to his dismay I have been occupied with baking. It is not usual for me to spend hours upon end slaving away in the kitchen creating dough and producing pie filing. What makes today different is that I am baking a cake, or a Buche De Noel if specifics are something you find appealing. This is a rolled cake that originated in France and resembles a Yule Log. Merry Christmas my friends! I love you all!

More Tidings of Joy

Tom Waits would also like to wish you all a very merry Christmas from the bottom of his fifth of whiskey.

It's Cold Outside

The sunlight is fleeting and the winter chill becomes fiercer and fiercer as we spiral into the winter months. Gone are the days of skateboarding till eight PM and wiping sweat from your brow. We can moan and bitch about the cold all day long but let us not forget how awful the summer can be. The next time you find yourself curling up into your coat with a grimace on your face think back to all the sunburn, heatstroke, and uncomfortably warm nights summer brings. If all else fails, switch on the Food Network and marvel and the incredible Paula Deen. Eat some pie and have a glorious winter's night!

Pie, Another Look

While shaving (my face) today I began thinking back to that part in American Pie where Jim violates a freshly made, lattice top, apple pie. I can not fathom what would drive a normal person to commit such an act of depravity. Personally I do not condone any sort of sexual conduct directed towards pies, or any other pastry for that matter. However I did begin to ask myself the question, "If I were to make love to a pie, what type would it be?"


So ladies and gentlemen, I present to you without further ado, the three most fuckable pies. I also have included the least sexually appealing pie.

3.
Lemon meringue Has a relatively firm texture when compared to other custard pies like pumpkin and sweet potato. I also imagine that penetrating the fluffy topping of the pie may have an interesting feel. I'd do her.

2.
Now this is a thick pie. The banana cream, while not being a very tasty pie in the least, would provide the strongest custard filling for a good amount of pounding. This little number would last all night long. More cushin' for the pushin.'

1.
The cherry pie is the number one most fuckable pie, and for good reason. Just the name "cherry pie" conjures up thoughts of sexual conquest and exploration. This pie has lattice top slits and a stable filling. Other fruit pies like apple may also provide hours of pleasure, but the size of cherries makes this pie perfect. Give it to me a la mode baby!

WARNING!

The least fuckable pie on earth would have to be the pecan. Despite its amazing taste, this pie would perform terribly in the sack. Just imagine what it would feel like to rub you penis against a half pound of rock hard pecans. Definitely not getting a boner off of this one.

So there you have it folks... not only have I provided you with a list of the loosest pies on the market, but I have also lost my mind in the process. Take comfort in my insanity. Merry Christmas and a happy screw year.

Tidings of Joy

Today my family and I attended The Dickens Christmas Far. It was a glorious occasion filled with dancing, singing and gingerbread. My mother was stoked due to the fact that she could browse the Victorian style shopping outlets, and I was stoked on the spiced mulled wine. Nothing makes my spirit tingle like wreathes of garland and figgy pudding. Things like gin drinking wenches also causes a tingling sensation.

A Message from the Tobacco Company

We all know that these days Mike Sunseri smokes like gosh darn chimney, but where did he get his start? What happened to this fine young man to make him want to inhale that sweet black tar? During one of my routine attempts at tapping into my nostalgic side I came upon the answer. I now have photographic proof that Richard DiTullio is responsible for the obliteration of Mikey's lungs!


oh yah... and here is a NUT cracker.

Word's of Wisdom from my Film Professor

My Modern Cinema Professor has a vast knowledge of film techniques and styles. With every lecture comes new insights into the world of movie making... and also insights into the world of cheap booze. My teacher has quite a pension for hard liquor in plastic containers. His old stand by is Albertson's Gin, but today he shared with us some information on vodka.


"Gordon's Vodka is quite an amazing brand. You can buy a plastic handle for around 12 dollars and it has a pretty nice taste. If you're having a party what you do is buy a bottle of Grey Goose, drink that yourself, and then pour the Gordon's Vodka into the empty bottle. No one you serve it to will ever notice the difference... I promise you!"

Pies for Product Update

Pies for Product is back in full effect. Message or comment me in some way, shape, or form in order to receive mouth watering baked good. Come on folk, tis the season!

December

December first means that Christmas is on the horizon (unless you happen to be one of those people shop in July or get your Christmas tree immediately after Thanksgiving dinner). There are tons of Christmas movies out there but this one is easily the best. Tis the season.