A Little Late for Day Eight

One of the guiding principles behind The Twelve Days, or five in the case of this particular year, of Clogmas is that posts can be earlier or later than their corresponding day. Typically they come later, but rest assured the posts will arrive.  So without further ado...

On the eighth day of Christmas,
The Clog gave to me
Eight ungodly ounces.

In actuality, the Limerita is really eight glorious ounces of zesty fun! The strange blend of booze, sugar and whatever the hell else Budweiser has decided to pump into it has made Limerita the undisputed king of refreshing beverages. Nothing tastes better on a hot summer day than one of these potent little suckers. And yes, I am well aware it is the dead of winter.

My Christmas came early this friday, because my good pal J Bone slithered down the chimney with a six pack of Limeritas and a unique and inspirational sign to go along with it. I am really starting to get into the spirit of the season.

p.s

This marks my 250th Clog post.

Five Days and Counting, but Who's Counting

There are only five days left before the presents are unveiled, eggnog is relentlessly consumed, and every man woman and child can take a collective sigh of relief because holiday shopping has come to an end. But if you subscribe to outrageous armageddon theories, then there are only several hours before the end of life as we know it. Is it any wonder, that in the face of impending doom, I have neglected to bring back the Twelve Days of Clogmas that I started a year ago. Aw man, I can't resist tradition. Looks like I will just have to jump in a several days late.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
The Clog gave to me
Seven seasonal photos.

A delicious spiral of nuts and molten sugar. The double meaning that comes with this caption conjures up feelings of great pain.

Dead as a doornail he was.

My favorite band only plays during the holidays and at the Cow Palace.

I am just going to assume this sign is referring to Mike.

The Dickens Fair has some seriously questionable puppets. hehe, DICKens.

Zack Wallin gets it up, and I throw out another penis reference.

I won't make a dick reference with this photo, but Nate is totally hydrating that root.

Christmas Wishtmas Lishmastless More or Lesstmassness

The Christmas list poses many troubles for a young lad. How can I possibly fit all of my needs onto one sheet of parchment? How can I figure out what all my complex and varied needs are within the span of several weeks? Most importantly, how can anyone truly fulfill all of these needs when many of them are not material, but emotion and spiritual? I am most likely making far too big a deal about this issue. Regardless, I have taken the time to post a few of the things I want, or feel the universe has already delivered to me and am much grateful for.

If ever there was a gift certificate I would use within hours of receiving, this is the one. There are plenty of shopping days left people, show me some love!

As a gift to me from the city of Los Gatos, fiberglass was placed around the top of the brick wall at the park near my parent's house. ironically the city did this shortly after I moved out. Better late than never I suppose.

I like to pretend that I own, and live inside, the Emerald Forest. In actuality I do not, but I would very much like to. Maybe I can start off by just working there.

It Needs to Start Somewhere

The advent calendar is similar to Pandora's Box, in that upon opening, all the chaos of the holidays is unleashed upon frightened consumers.

If I am opening Pandora's Box, chocolate better be involved in some way. Let's light this candle!

I know that winter is in full swing when the pumpkin spice latte is replaced by the wretched peppermint mocha.

Luckily I have these two to whisk me away to the Los Gatos Christmas parade, where the bands play loud and sangria flows like water down a mountainside.

Rain or shine my friends.

You would think after the first time he would have learned his lesson.

The Stanford band comes to Tommy's after the parade to play a little private show for loyal patrons/scumbags, and year after year, always manage to play a cover of one of my favorite Paul Simon songs. The combination of music and location always raise my spirits. Celebration Ale helps too.

Dale has never been featured on The Clog. Dale has probably never read or even heard of The Clog. The Clog has featured Celebration Ale, and Dale has served me Celebration Ale. It is about damn time this man's face found its way onto The Clog. Some things were just meant to be.

This guy grabbed a gourd and chanted so incoherent nonsense about "dope." Apparently weed saves lives.